everybody is coming out

everybody has their own problems, and everybody doesn’t seem to blurt it out over and over again. Though if your drunk and you don’t know what your doing you will just notice in just in a mere of seconds or minutes you are telling it in a bunch of people that you dont know they would understand what you are talking about. you dont really know how friends are in capable of hearing the worn out and worse things thatyou are bearing, what am i gonna say?

well i know you just got it.

Given away

whisper me sweet nothings

will me to survive

let me live a lie

so i can stay alive

betray me in the shadows

so from pain i may be free

don’t mind if I’m deceived

as long as you are here with me

act as though you love me

claim to be my friend

I’ll put the truth aside

and I’ll be happy to pretend

so at least i won’t be empty

at least i think that i have worth

because right now, my time is short

and i am not long for this earth

my life’s become my prison

my soul rots while I’m confined

tried my hardest to battle my demons

lost the fight and lost my mind

the hopeless can’t hold on too long

for how does one live without purpose?

so, please whisper me sweet nothings

lie, convince me I’m not worthless

The Jersey that costs $40…

Funny things isn’t it? We love but at the end we would only hurt ourselves. We fight and sacrifice but in the end the one’s we love will only treat us like trash and somehow see us like were nothing else. 

Bitter?

No not really, we tend to let go all the things that hurts us but we always say to ourselves that we cannot do it because someone or SOMETHING  is holding us back.

In my case, i figured it out just a couple of weeks ago after our breakup on september 30, 2013 and just a few days after that i finally said to myself what was really the thing that’s holding me back to let her go…

It’s the Commitment.

But luckily after a day or so it started to go back again the way it was before, so it goes on, up to now and the Jersey that costs $40, i’m wearing it now. 

Hahah! Stupid title.

8 hours of being tired and sleepy

Another day has passed and i feel kinda tired and fuckin sleepy, oh well… This days doesn’t really have to explain something that had happened 8 hours ago.. Is it?I don’t really feel like sleeping today, i just have an odd feeling of something about what i didn’t really expected to happen, basically i was in a state of shock and a little bit of stunned. I don’t know why…

A few days ago, i was in our house and i felt something that is really unnecessary, someone just got a blow on me , and i didn’t realize that it was a sign that someone close to me will die, rather is at the hospital having her final stages of life to come through beyond the point that everything she’d done for us and to everybody else will soon fade away but never be forgotten.

So as i watched myself closely onto the mirror, a silhouette of a woman ages from 75 - 80 just appeared right in front of my eyes, but even before i screamed the hell out of me, i finally realized that there is nothing to be afraid of coz she’s very close to me…

But little did i know that, she’s already in the phase of LETTING GO, instead of LETTING THINGS GO.

beersandcigs

beers and cigarettes

beersandcigs:

Ok so in my lifetime i have noticed that i run across a large amount of beers and cigarettes placed on various tables at various locations, so i thought why not make a blog out of my photography

follow this shit

www.beersandcigs.tumblr.com

for when you kids feel like reblogging alcohol and cigarettes with that cool little instagram filter 

many more rando blogs to come your way:)  

Give me love like her,
'Cause lately I've been waking up alone,
Pain splattered teardrops on my shirt,
Told you I’d let them go,

And that I’ll fight my corner,
Maybe tonight I’ll call ya,
After my blood turns into alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We’ll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, give me love,

Give me love like never before,
'Cause lately I've been craving more,
And it’s been a while but I still feel the same,
Maybe I should let you go,

You know I’ll fight my corner,
And that tonight I’ll call ya,
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,
No, I just wanna hold ya.

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We’ll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,

Give a little time to me or burn this out,
We’ll play hide and seek to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover.

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover,
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (love me, love me, love me).

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love),
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love),
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love, love me),
M-my my, m-my my, m-my my, give me love, lover (give me love).

My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love,
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.

Of all the money that e’er I had
I’ve spent it in good company
And all the harm that e’er I’ve done
Alas it was to none but me
And all I’ve done for want of wit
To memory now I can’t recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Of all the comrades that e’er I had
They are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e’er I had
They would wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I’ll gently rise and I’ll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all

A man may drink and not be drunk
A man may fight and not be slain
A man may court a pretty girl
And perhaps be welcomed back again
But since it has so ought to be
By a time to rise and a time to fall
Come fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all
Good night and joy be with you all

My Feelings aren’t always my reality

 People cry not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for Too Long.

Sometimes it’s difficult to see the importance of something until it’s gone. Or at least put on the back burner. Life is full of ups & downs. Everyone has their share of good times along with the bad. Sometimes the challenges we face help make us stronger.

Much has happened since I last spoke and my other blog whew that’s a whole mess up. I was hospitalized and many realizations came to me. I have discovered that when we deal with bipolar, it can play many games with you. It can play games not only with you, but also your loved ones. You don’t know if you are at a level state or if you’re just excited or maybe you’re going into mania, but only time will tell.

Much has happened since I last spoke. I was hospitalized and many realizations came to me. I have discovered that when we deal with bipolar, it can play many games with you. It can play games not only with you, but also your loved ones. You don’t know if you are at a level state or if you’re just excited or maybe you’re going into mania, but only time will tell. Speaking of telling, who do you tell? Who can you trust? Do you even learn to trust after the things we go through and have experienced yet cannot express? You cannot get out of bed, but you can’t explain why. You spent too much money and you don’t understand how. I could go on forever on how this disease affects us and cripples us, but that is not what I want to focus on. What I have learned is that in order to get ANY control of bipolar you must first accept that you have it. If you do not accept it you can not learn to take care of it, to go to the doctors, to take your meds, to get adequate sleep, eat well, have good hygiene, to watch your caffeine and alcohol intake. In order to get better you must do these things and to do these things you must have acceptance. Now I am not saying that I am better or that I am cured of even that I am perfectly stable, because I am not and I may never be, but if I am okay with that then maybe I can learn to enjoy today….

Eventually :(

I first thought that the end would be the start of all but as the day goes by, it starting to fade away and eventually gone just like nothing happened.

I wonder why people tend to fall inlove to the person that will make them cry and hurt them so after some time it will come to an end that that person you love the most will say this, “I no longer love you and i’m gonna find someone better than you” it fucking hurts right?

But, what will you gonna do?

Cry?

Hate?

Be Angry?

No, you shouldn’t do any of that, Just LET IT GO…

You have to, it’s the best way but it’s also the Hardest phase of letting it happen.